Today”s Friday Five guest writer is Nikita Taniparti. Nikita is a young woman of extraordinary light and love. A recent graduate of the University of Notre Dame, Nikita lives in Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu and works for a a Development Economics research organization that is based out of Harvard. In her own words, ““Nikita loves eating and writing and yoga, among many other things. She believes that there has to be a balance: of mind, body, and spirit. It is advisable to keep a balance in your life, to acknowledge the great powers around us and in us, and to live out this balance in all our endeavors. You can reach her at [email protected]”
Here are Nikita”s Five that have lots of love, lots of beauty, lots of delight and boundless heart. I hope that you are as moved by her Friday Five as I was.
“How is your heart?”
Ask this of the next person you meet, and notice what their reaction is. They might pause in confusion, they might tilt their head ever so slightly as they process this innocent question, and they might even raise a suspicious eyebrow at you.
Most of us are familiar with the ubiquitous “Hi, how are you?” that is a sign that you acknowledge another person. And we usually proffer and expect a standard response: “I’m fine, thanks. How are you?”
But what about the fact that you might actually care about their response. You really want to know how they are, at this very moment. You want to tell them that their heart and their state of being are of importance. You want them to take this moment, and make it theirs. This moment is for them to reflect on how they feel, how they want to feel, and how they think you feel. How they feel is up to them to decide and express; this is their opportunity and moment to do so. You are there to listen and to accept, you are them for them.
We often fall victim to “too much busy-ness”, too much normalcy, and perhaps too much disengaged interaction. To step back from all the chaos, I ask people this powerful question when I want them to remember that they matter, that I genuinely want them to reflect on…themselves, and that I would be grateful if they felt comfortable sharing their heart.
Enlivening Silence
Sometimes silence is imposed upon us – the “silent game” is quickly becoming my favorite game to play with my little cousins. Sometimes we meditate on our desire to “learn to keep silent” in certain situations – there have been countless instances where if I could just have not said anything…sigh. Sometimes, silence is the only appropriate response to an uncalled-for remark, a somber and muted occasion, or an expression of disbelief at something ridiculous.
Whatever the reason and whatever the outcome, “being silent and not being silent are both ways of being human in this world.” Silence is as essential to being a social creature as is its absence. I practice silence when I am trying to be more aware, I regret silence when I should have done something, and I am humbled by its tacit influence over any group of people.
The next time you are silent, immerse yourself in this silence. Even if you are (like me) an an out-and-proud extrovert, you too will be surprised at how this hint of introspection and stillness can refresh your perspective, can satisfy your curiosity, and eliminate any rashness.
Incandescent Compliments
Of course Oprah has something to say about compliments: “How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you”. This theory that you project parts of yourself unto others when you either compliment or criticize them is not a new one. This is important because I firmly believe that people’s moods and feelings are extremely contagious – we project an image of ourselves unto others every time we relate to someone else. We all know those people who light up any room they enter; those people whose positive energy radiates all around them and affects everyone else to the highest empyrean of vivacity. I call this the “feel-good-about-life” effect. This person somehow makes everyone they come across feel perfectly okay with being exactly casino online who they are. And feeling that comfortable with yourself – that, is a priceless sense of elation. Sincerity can go a long way, and simple and honest compliments are good for the soul, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end.
Relish the Gush
They tell you to live in the moment, they say to take your pleasures seriously, and they tell you that you should be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life. “They” might have missed a few points in between. Why is it that we seek out moments of joy and laughter and love? How are these often disjointed and ephemeral instances of happiness connected? We gush about the times we enjoy ourselves, and we gush about relationships we treasure.
Someone once said, “life is but the accumulation of memories to live on and live by”. Our memories are nothing but the aggregation of life’s nostalgic moments. In the pursuit of “making each moment count”, it is the little things that matter. “They” also say that we should “enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were the big things”. The little things can be anything: from the heady giddiness of a great dinner with friends, to the hour spent tending to the herbs in your garden, to the pleasure of pampering yourself with essential oils after a shower. How do they become the big things?
It’s the moments that cause us joy that we hold on to and remember, and it’s the collection of these moments that add up to a great day, or a great month…a great few years even. So relish these moments, seemingly innocent and trivial though they might seem; its more than likely that they are the precious memories you will relive so fondly later on.
Stretch every which Way
I know you know that it is important to stretch your muscles. I know you might stretch both before and after a workout. I know you stretch when you roll around on the bed wishing you didn’t have to get out of it. I also know that you feel really good whenever you do stretch your body (which of course, you do all the time, right?!)
Even if you get 0 minutes of exercise, please stretch. Even if you did eat 2 extra helpings of dinner and then indulged in a decadently rich chocolate dessert, please stretch. Stretch in the morning to kick-start your day and get your blood pumping, stretch in the afternoon when I know nap time sounds like the best idea ever, stretch in the evenings when you want to feel more Zen. It works wonders for your body and health.
However, stretch yourself emotionally too. Just like your muscles consistently need pampering and conditioning, so do your emotions. Our emotional reactions are dynamic over time and space, and to stretch your emotions entails many things. Accept your emotions as and when they come, reflect on your emotions as you experience then, and push yourself to broaden your emotional capacity to relate to other people and situations. When you’re young (and naïve) and learning, relish this opportunity to take emotional risks; when you’re older (and wiser), use your acquired emotional strength to be more discerning and choose to cherish the things you value most. Above all, young or old, stretch yourself to an emotional capacity that is new and challenging – it will be a challenge worth rising to.
