Today’s Friday Five guest post is by Devasmita Chakraverty. Devasmita is a postdoctoral researcher in Germany who loves to travel and take pictures. Her keen observation, fresh energy and abundant enthusiasm are palpable both in her gorgeous photographs and her wonderful writing.
Finding by Losing, Learning by Unlearning
Earlier this October, after eight years of setting up home in the US, I left that home to find a new home in Germany. I had no particular ties to Germany, and I did not understand the language. Not even a word. But for the last few years, my inner GPS was constantly nudging me to take an exit.
Eventually, I moved. On a beautiful October evening at the Seattle airport, I watched the sun paint the sky in a beautiful palette of colors while wiping tears and boarding the plane to Germany. That day, I had wondered if I would ever visit the US again, not as a tourist, but in some professional capacity.
The day I landed in Germany, I opened up my life to a whole new world of possibilities. The brand new European chapter of my life opened up possibilities of experiencing hundreds of new, unfamiliar things again. In these last two months, life has not been predictable or boring even for a moment.
People
People are warm, friendly, and always eager to help. Far from being an outsider who does not look or sound German, I instantly connected with the people. My departmental secretary often drops by my office to ask me how I am doing, rubbing her hands affectionately on my forearms. My adviser has given me all her phone numbers, if I ever needed anything not only for work, but especially outside work. I have had people from the other departments walk up to me at the bus stop, introducing themselves and giving me information on where to learn German, where to find Indian food, and how to buy a cell phone. My colleagues always help me choose my lunch at the cafeteria, because everything is written in German. My neighbor and I spend long hours in the weekends walking, drinking coffee, and talking about nothing in particular but everything in general. One day, a very nice lady in the bus (a complete stranger to me) started making conversation, and on learning that I have just moved to Germany, scribbled her name and phone number on a piece of paper, asking me to call her if I ever needed to talk to someone, before getting off the bus. The lady from the restaurant not only packed my leftover paella, but also drew a smiley and scribbled “guten Appetit”. An old couple walking in the park offered me candies, just because I made eye contact and smiled at them.
Every day, I am blown away by how incredibly nice people are, even strangers. I suspect that it has nothing to do with me being new here. People are generally nice, without any hidden agendas. Despite being a stranger, I feel much more connected and supported.
Food
My food habits have changed significantly, for the better. Always being used to eating alone at work, I now find myself sitting in a big cafeteria, with all my colleagues. I no longer grab a bite or down some juice or gobble or nibble. I sit properly with a gabel, löffel, and messer, and eat my food with the others. No one is too busy to take an hour off and walk to the cafeteria, get some fresh air, and eat without the distraction of ringing phones and looming deadlines. Later, we have coffee and cookies in the department. We sit and talk not just about work, but about things outside work.
Here, I look forward to my lunches every day. Portion sizes are smaller, food is tastier, and we eat in proper china, instead of disposable plates. My cups and bowls are half the size now, and even my appetite has adjusted accordingly. I have seen fewer fast food joints. I am immensely enjoying the experience of eating less, eating well, and not eating alone.
Work opportunities
Although the only non-German in my department, I do not feel like an outsider. My work identity ties me with people, because together, we do research. The process of getting a work permit was not only hassle-free, but free. Here, it doesn’t feel like I am working for someone. Rather, it feels like I am working for me. I had a say in selecting my project. For the first time, I am writing a grant, developing my own research agenda, and initiating research collaborations between countries. When my proposals got accepted for a US conference, the department happily agreed to fund and support my trip, without any conditions (remember my earlier wish of visiting the US for work?). With the academic freedom of designing my projects, I feel much more motivated. My stay here truly feels like a vacation in Europe, vacation not because of the absence of work, but vacation because of the freedom to pursue what I want to pursue. I have always wished for a work life without the barriers of nationality or visa restrictions, where I could collaborate with other countries and study international issues in education. I feel much closer to this wish fulfillment, thankful to my adviser for letting me create my own work opportunities here.
Breaking free of old habits
My stay here has forced me to break free of many old habits. This experience came with a lot of angst, but the angst did not last long. I no longer have a car here. It forces me to walk more, take the bus, read maps, be mindful of time, and live a more disciplined life. I hop on the bus once a week for grocery, buying only as much as I can carry myself instead of hoarding. My grocery bills have come down significantly, and so have my living costs. Since plastic bags are not free, I remember to take my own bags to the store. The stores close at 8 pm (and are fully closed on Sundays), and I can no longer go for a midnight drive to get some ice cream on a whim. In fact, I am realizing that I don’t even need as much as I thought I would to live comfortably. I now buy fruits in twos and threes instead of pounds, and milk in liters and instead of galloons.
I am also enjoying living a cell phone-free life for the first time. The Whatsapp doesn’t ding anymore, and I no longer suffer from a compulsive habit of browsing my phone all the time, while walking, in the bus, or when I am with friends. Instead, I have developed a new addiction. I live by the water, and I am addicted to watching the ships every day. The Stena Line and the Color Line cruises sail right in front of my home every day, and even after two months, the excitement hasn’t faded. So I crane my neck until I have had the last glimpse of the ship. Sometimes, I run to the seventh floor in my flip flops with my camera to take better pictures of the ships. I would be working at my desk when I suddenly look up and see a huge ship slowly crawling into the harbor. I watch them with a childlike excitement, waving at the tiny people on the deck. I think of how effortlessly these ships ferry people around the world every day, as I marvel at their engineering and technology. My new home is one-fourth the size of my old one, but now, it faces the water and the east. So after taking innumerable trips over the years, driving in the dark to catch the first rays of the sunrise, I now do all that from my room every day.
Language
I am discovering how language shapes our daily experiences. I have never lived in a country before where I did not understand the language. So at first, everything was a challenge- choosing food, deciding what to buy at the grocery store, operating the washing machines, and even asking for directions. Just because people can speak and understand English here doesn’t mean that I could make myself understood all the time. I have to remember street names in German, and I have sat through work meetings where I did not understand a word. I often stand in a crowded bus with hundreds of people talking to one another in a language I understand nothing of. And that has added a whole new dimension to my life here. I feel like a little child once again, learning a language from the scratch. And while I do that, I laugh at the many German words that sound like something totally different in other languages. Since I do not understand words, I rely more on facial expressions, voice intonations, and body language of people. I often marvel at the amazingly long German words and wonder how people play scrabble here. I was so excited the day I ordered food with the longest name (Hähnchenbrustfilet, or chicken breast fillet), or discovered a bus stop with a long name (Schauenburgerstraße).
What is Left to Say
Every new dish I eat, new person I meet, and new word I learn, adds to the riches I have acquired in life. By succumbing to the comforts of the known, I sure started feeling stuck. It is by embracing the unknown that I have found a newer me, learnt to let go, have faith in the goodness of people, and open myself up to newer possibilities in life.
